Saturday, August 6, 2016

2016 - 3/17 to 8/6 - Kathryn

It's taken more than a year for me to be able to document the events of the next 6 months after returning to the states in March, 2016.

  • Mid April; Kathryn moved out of the house she shared with Mickey. She planned to get a job in the Keys & live in the cottage;
  • May 1st, Kate was diagnosed with terminal cancer - she moved in with Kari, her friend & employer in Ft. Myers;
  • May 21, I flew to Ft. Myers to be with her while she was scheduled to have 2 weeks' of radiation treatments to her brain;
  • Unable to tolerate these treatments, we packed up Kate's personal belongings; Every space in the little VW was stuffed with 'stuff'. In addition, a very large box of her clothes was shipped down.

  • May 22; Celebrated life with girlfriends at Kari's. There are some here who will never see her again...
    Linda & Kathryn
    
    Kari, Kate, Linda




    Kate, Trixie, Kari, Pepe, Noelle, Duncan

Kathryn & her precious Trixie
Daughters, Shannon & Jessica

  • We drove to the Keys on the 26th. With every mile south she became reenergized  & refreshed.
  • We spent 3 days on anchor - She loved to be on the boat;
  • May 29th, we spent a glorious day at picnic island on BLUE MAX;

Jack, Trixie & Scupper @ Picnic Island
  • May 31st - Kate moved into the cottage. She felt she was finally home.
  • We met with the Hospice team early on. We both felt confident in their abilities.  I was relieved to know I would have back-up if needed. Medications arrived & were stashed in the refrigerator.
  • It was my honor to have been her care giver.
She was feeling remarkably well - had to in order to be able to unpack & put away all her 'stuff'. She even brought her scroll saw & surprised me by making a duplicate of the 'hall of dogs' - this one for Capt. Jack Sparrow.


She hammered, screwed, nailed, glued & rearranged the cottage - it looked fabulous!
Sea horse she found on the swim platform of a boat anchored
near us
The bathroom never looked better


We kept a special calendar to keep track of everyone who wanted to come down. Caveat; Only one or 2 people at a time with a day or two in between visits.
June was a good month for her - we encouraged friends to come on down.
Eric & his brothers came down to go fishing. We met them at the Warf- a Tiki bar just around the corner from the cottage.  She almost didn't go, but she wanted to see Eric - she did well & happy she went.



Eric, Bruce, me, Allen
Kate & Eric @ the Warf

Laurel drove down from Jacksonville. We saw a movie at the Tropic cinema & actually had enough energy (& I mean Laurel & me) to go to 'sunset' on Mallory Square.
At the Tropic Cinema with Marilyn


During this time, I stayed on the boat in the channel. Kate was to have all the privacy she wanted. We talked on the phone every day updating how she was doing & did she need anything. Typically, I would bring the dinghy in when friends arrived.

We had an agreement. Kate would tell me when she felt she needed me to be with her 24/7 & I hoped that wouldn't happen for a very long time.

Sherri arrived with food & enthusiasm. She cooked & fussed over both of us. We laughed a lot.



On July 3rd we took the boat out to Picnic Island so we'd have a good spot to see the amazing fire works. Kathryn loved to do this. She was at peace.






Trixie was having a ball with Jack, sometimes Scupper would join in too...You can see how Trixie feels totally at home.


On July 11th, I picked up Linda at the ferry terminal in Key West. It was her birthday so we had one for the 'Gipper' at Dante's. Kathryn was having a few bad days & I was adjusting her meds so she wouldn't be so 'out of it'. It was Kathryn's 58th birthday on the 17th so we celebrated both birthdays on the 13th. Yummy Key Lime pie instead of boring cake. (sorry about the poor picture quality-wanted to capture the essence of the moment w/out a flash)

It was Linda who (finally) convinced Kathryn to open the sofa bed so she would be more comfortable, be in the heart of everything & could still be in a sitting position.


We sorta forced Linda to learn to play Dominoes & SkipBo...didn't matter, we had fun & laughed a lot.

Funny story...Linda asleep on the blow up bed in the den, Kate on the sofa bed, me in the bedroom. I got up to pee, Kate got up to get Trixie, Linda got up because she heard Kate get up. It's dark. Kate bends over to pick up Trixie & keeps falling forward until she falls on the floor. Linda sees Kate on the floor & lets out a blood curtailing scream. WTF!!!!!!????? I get up, turn on the lights, access the situation - no harm, no foul...Kathryn is laughing so hard & saying 'I'm OK, I'm OK' - we follow her lead. but really?? blood curtailing scream??? Linda could have had a leading role in the Chain Saw Massacre movie!! (She will kill me for telling this story) 

We hated to see Linda leave...wish she could have stayed for weeks. She is the love in our lives who loves us more than anything &, most importantly, she's true, honest & cares deeply. She also makes us laugh a lot.

August 4th; Kathryn made an appointment with a local hair/spa salon. She wanted to get her hair colored with multiple colors - I think there's a name for it but I don't know what it's called...red, blue, yellow, green. Think it's a gypsy thing?? And she wanted me to have my first facial. Off we went to Big Pine Key. She was weak but she was determined! That's my Kate. Hours later the deed was done & she looked radiant - beaming. She had her head out the window of the car laughing, yelling screaming all the way home. It was an amazing day. Sadly, I didn't have my camera & I ALWAYS have my camera. She was exhausted but incredibly happy.

Other visitors:
Daughters, Erin & Shannon
Daughter, Jessica, Josh, Paxton & Olivia
Sister, Sandi
Daughter, Lona
July 20th, I moved into the cottage, the day I was hoping wouldn't come this soon.

Kathryn Gail Barnett
July 17, 1958 - August 6, 2016
My friend and soul mate




Remembering the events, writing the words, reviewing the pictures seemed to help with my healing process. I hope it might do the same for you



The next 'blog' will be all about Kathryn & our amazing times together.